Insomnia

1) Midnight Lovers

Two midnight lovers by the lake
The moonlight dances across the crystal water
I savor the taste from your luscious lips
And softly caress your beautiful hips
Warm velvet skin moves across me

Forever seems so far away
While lying in your lover’s arms

My heart is an elegant cathedral
Exquisite designs of romance
Decorate the walls and the ceiling
Down the hallway, I hear angelic voices
Singing of priceless love

Your Judas Kiss was soft and tender
Betrayed by a seductive Aquarius
With lips blood red and nefarious
Pain and punishment are vicarious

My heart is a brothel
A revolving door of lost souls
Foreign lips and a stranger’s hips
Cold scaly skin moves across me

Whether in celestial spheres
Or circles of the inferno
The concept of forever
Has become crystal clear
Outside of your arms

2) Occult of Personality

I take the path of excess
To the palace of wisdom
Redemption is worthless
Beauty and ecstasy are priceless

I explore every vice
And indulge in deadly sins
To awaken my senses
And escape the soul’s prison

Unconscious desires rise to the surface
Instinct replaces what I’ve been taught
Morality is relative
Ambition is blind

Chaos is strangely intriguing
Like the chance to sleep with an ex lover
One more time

I left you long ago
Because your kisses lost their flavor
Now I hear the serpent laughing
As I frantically stab my hideous portrait

3) Faithful

Honesty is a disgusting creature, that we decorate with lies
Desires become more destructive, when they’re locked up inside
We believed that fidelity was necessary, until we looked into strange eyes
But we ignored the jealous undertow, and the changing of the tides

Their lips on your skin
My hands on strange flesh
Suspicion slithered into our minds
Poisoned our trust, and caused us to question things
That we thought were set in stone

Yes. I have read 1984 by George Orwell. I think that Orwell is one of the great minds and writer's of all time. My personal favorite by Orwell is Animal Farm, I love how it ends, looking in the window, and not being able to tell the difference between the pigs and the men. Dorian Gray is actually my favorite story of all time. Just a great portrayal of the pleasures and pitfalls of vanity. And how beauty is both a gift and a curse.

As for "Faithful", it is meant to be philosophical. It is loosely based/inspired by my life. The underlying philosophical question is how to deal with the emotions of lust, desire, and temptation. Oscar Wilde (speaking of Dorian Gray) said the only way to rid yourself of temptation is to yield to it. In a modern context of morality, religious, and societal norms- lust, desire, and temptation are cast as evil wicked things, and that we should avoid them. However, is this really true? Do lust, desire, and temptation give us insights into who we really are? By avoiding them are we lying to ourselves, under the pretense of morality.

The classic example is a homosexual man who marries a woman, has kids, and tries desperately to fit the mold of a normal straight man. Why would someone do this? Surely, lust, desire, and temptation have led them to have feelings for other men. So why not listen to those temptations. Often in this case the truth comes out eventually, and the situation is worse, because entire lives and relationships have been built upon lies (in this case desires were locked up inside, and they became more destructive in the end). However, I am not gay, am not married, and have no kids. So my specific experiences are related to girlfriends. For example, many relationships (mine included) eventually lose the flame or spark of passion. It's nothing bad about either person, it's just time. Generally speaking, it's why relationships are usually the most passionate, physical, and sexual towards the beginning- during the so called "honeymoon period" (I'd say the first year or two). However, while the "honeymoon period" eventually fades, lust, desire, and temptation do not. Those emotions are part of who we are as people. So in this situation, what's the solution? Is it better just to be honest and then go act on your desires, or is it better to stay with someone and practice self-restraint? And if you choose to stay and practice self-restraint, what happens if you reach a point where you have checked out mentally- but are just staying with the person, is it ok to leave and pursue your desires at that point?

There are no right or wrong answers, as all the questions are rhetorical. Therefore, it is just supposed to be a philosophical challenge to the standard notion of everyone has a soul mate, so you date until you find the right person, then you get married, have kids, and grow old together. I am not against any of those things, and I'm not simply bitter because of heartbreak, I just think people as a whole, are very complex. So to trying to fit everyone into one-size fits all notions of morality, relationships, marriage, love, etc doesn't make sense.

As for honesty being a "disgusting creature" I believe that to be absolutely true in certain situations. In fact, I think that is why people often lie. Just think of how different the world would be if everyone told the truth. It would be noble, but the revelations wouldn't always paint a pretty picture. Jack Nicholson has the famous line "you can't handle the truth". There is a lot of wisdom to this. Imagine knowing the truth about everything. That would be both a great gift and a terrible burden. But that's where lies become important, because as they say, ignorance is bliss.

Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read and offer feedback.

Thank you for your very in-depth response. I enjoyed reading it. You bring up some very good points. Personally, I agree that emotions of companionship, love, and trust can replace sex, lust, and desire in long-term relationships. Personally, I have experienced both, and I must say that truly connecting with someone in love, is the best feeling in the world. And that if you really love someone, and they love you, then it's the most important thing in life, and worth fighting for, and pursuing to the ends of the earth. However, I think that people (myself included) sometimes confuse love with what they see in romantic movies and TV shows, read in romantic novels, or hear in romantic songs. Because real life relationships aren't always sexy, for example, balancing a checkbook, changing diapers, shopping for appliances or household items on the weekend, compromising and managing money together, etc. Also, I think it is rarely noted that people can truly be in love, and then fall out of love- I think this is because most people view finding love as a destination, instead of a journey, I think that complacency often kills a lot of relationships because of this mentality as well. (I myself have fallen victim to complacency in certain relationships).

I very much appreciate you always taking the time to read and offer feedback on my writing- I am always happy to read your responses. I think that the best art (through whatever medium it is expressed) gives the audience something to think about; whether it's philosophical, exploring something creatively, or simply looking at something in a new light. In my opinion, the best art presents questions and scenarios, and the let's the audience decide for themselves. By no means am I trying to sound overconfident, as I think I have a long way to go, just to be considered a good writer. However, the aforementioned concept of art as a stimulus for thought is what I try to adhere to creatively.

I agree that once you love someone, a part of them will always remain with you. I just meant you can fall out of love to the point where the relationship doesn't work anymore. I like The Catcher in the Rye. I think that Holden Caulfield (I hope I spelled that correctly) represents a kind of insecurity and confusion that everyone can relate to a some point in their life. I also like the genuine sincerity of Holden's character beneath his flaws. I think this is most evident when he can't close the deal with the prostitute. I think Holden sees his own loneliness and insecurity reflected in her, so that's why he can't close the deal. It has been awhile since I read it in high school, but doesn't Holden specifically picture the prostitute buying the dress she is wearing? Most male clients wouldn't give a seconds thought about a prostitute buying a dress, just that her dress was sexy, and that it eventually came off. I think this strange analysis reveals a subtext about Holden that he is lost within his head, to put it simply. If you do read Animal Farm, I think what really makes it a masterpiece is how Orwell highlights the cycle of oppression- fighting for freedom, and then ending up back where you started. Hope all is well.
- Jason

I think Catcher in the Rye is a very specific taste. I have actually read it twice, and the first time I felt like you do, but the second time I liked it. To me, the materialism and vanity reflected in Holden's character, and as an underlying theme to the book seemed more relevant. But I have talked to very intelligent people who hated Catcher in the Rye. I like One Flew over the Cuckoos Nest. A very strange but interesting story. I am not sure if it specifically has any meaning or theme (at least in my interpretation)- but I found it to be interesting and entertaining in it's strangeness and weirdness.

A lot of books and stories are harder to enjoy today, because they have to be viewed in the context of their time period. For example, I love 1984, but being that it's 2010, it loses the whole element of "sometime in the future world". Same with a lot of music and art that was made during the sixties (within the context of the hippie culture). For example, one of my favorite bands is The Doors. If you talk to people who were alive when they were around, they always say it was controversial, and that a lot of Morrison's lyrics were too strange. However, if you look at The Doors compared to a Marilyn Manson, Eminem, Slayer, Pantera, etc. then the controversy seems minimal.

I think with Catcher in the Rye, a lot was specific to the time it was written, and that it is difficult to really get into because of that.

I agree. I think 1984 holds some timeless truths about freedom and oppression. Also, that was the conclusion I eventually came to about Catcher in the Rye, that Holden was having a mental breakdown. I am glad you like The Doors, I always enjoying meeting fellow Doors and Used fans. Hope all is well.
- Jason

Do you write? If you do, and you want to share, post it as a reply in this thread.

Phantoms

Saw myself reflected in you
Thought I could stop my pain
By being your tourniquet

Tried so hard, to keep our cravings
From carving their way into consciousness
But they severed our serenity
And divorced our love from trust

Denial taught me how to lie
Found clever places
To hide from my shadow
And slip into illusion

Enchanted by envy
And enamored with vanity
Hubris led us down the spiral

Thanks. You should feel free to post your writing. Everyone is their own worst critic. Personally, I have never thought anything I've written or posted here has been that good. But I am looking at it from the inside, having been through the whole creative process. Kind of like building something, the builder knows and notices all the little flaws and imperfections that no one else does. Anyways, I don't want to pressure you, but if you want to post, I would love to read it.

For now they are just poems, as I don't really have anyone to jam with to make them songs. I used to have some friends who played guitar, made beats, and had a small recording studio, but we have all moved apart.

It's not bad. In fact I think it's a really good start. It just needs to be finished.